


A Place to Call Home

by bakers_impala221



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1999, Acceptance, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety, Bisexuality, Charlie Bradbury - Freeform, Christmas, Dating, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Diary, Family, First Date, First Kiss, Free Will, Freedom, Gay, Gay Romance, Gender Roles, Home, Homophobia, Isolation, Journal, Journal Entries, LGBT, LGBT club, LGBTQI+, Leaving Home, Lesbian, Loneliness, M/M, Mary Winchester is Accepting, Privilege, Rich Family, Romance, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam ships Destiel, The Art Gallery, Toxic Households, Work, Young Sam Winchester, castiel - Freeform, diary entries, discussed homophobia, hometown, local library, meeting at the library, no violence, park
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakers_impala221/pseuds/bakers_impala221
Summary: Castiel leaves home at 18 years (+ 1 day) old to escape the suffocating confines of his conservative family. He moves to a new town and, alone and scared, he starts his new life there.After a few weeks, he finally decides to visit the library and discovers a poster for the LGBTQI+ club that runs in the building every Sunday. On a whim, he joins and he meets Charlie and Dean, two friendly locals who help to pull him out of the loneliness and isolation of the transition into a new life.One day, his brother Gabriel calls, and all of a sudden Castiel's world is turned upside down. He abruptly faces an ultimate decision between personal freedom and security, and within the dilemma, finally understands his values and where it is that he's always truly belonged.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't know if you'd have noticed from the Summary, but this story is heavily based off of Colm Tóibín's book, 'Brooklyn.'  
> This was originally a story (secretly a fanfiction) I'd written for an assessment for English class at school, that either had to be a fanfiction of Eilis after the story, or a work based on the themes within the 'Brooklyn'. Naturally, I wrote a Destiel fanfiction, but under the guise of the main character being named Adrian, after me, instead. (On a side note I'm pretty sure my English teacher no longer remotely thinks of me as straight.)  
> I wrote this a few months ago, but the original story had a word limit of 1000 words (which then got extended to a maximum of 1200, which I then obviously exceeded -by like 100 words), so it was very limiting. I've finally gotten 'round to editing and rewriting it so that the sentences are structured more in the way I genuinely write, rather than their original distorted, shortened versions. However, it has unfortunately maintained its somewhat stilted writing. -But that is why.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading!

09/18/99

Today is my birthday. I turn 18.

My family hasn’t made a big deal out of it, but I’ve never been their favorite anyway. Not that it matters, because tomorrow I’m finally leaving, and that’s the best gift I could possibly receive. I don’t like it here; I’ve never fit into this family, and ever since I finally figured out that I was gay, I suppose that made sense. Their overly conservative, religious lifestyles “cannot condone” a life like mine, so it’s no surprise I’ve never felt at all close to them or anyone in this town.

I haven’t told anyone I’m leaving yet, but I’ve packed two suitcases and a few boxes right to the brim, all currently hidden away in my closet in case anyone comes in to my room and sees them. A few months ago I began planning and I’ve rented a flat in a town a few hours away with a lease that begins as of tomorrow. I’ve arranged for a taxi to arrive tomorrow morning to pick me up.

Just a few hours ago I completed a letter to leave for my parents to find in my absence tomorrow morning that will explain everything to them. I’m anxious to get everything started so I can leave and it can all be over with.


	2. Chapter 2

09/19/99

It was strange to leave quietly in the middle of the night. As I was hauling my belongings across the giant garden of what has always been my home, I realized with a start that I probably won’t ever see my parents again. I’m not sad about it though. I’ve never been close with them.

The taxi ride took a few hours, and then arrived on a curb out the front of a rather austere apartment block. It felt uncomfortable to enter my own flat; it’s so small and undecorated. All of a sudden, I had this vivid sense that I was poor. It was unfamiliar and bizarre.


	3. Chapter 3

09/27/99

I began work yesterday for a job at the town’s local art gallery. They explained to me how it would work-- they said that when the exhibition changes, I get to help set it up. The rest of the time, I work behind the counter in the gift shop at the front.

I’d prefer not to have to speak to any strangers, but there are never very many, and I enjoy working around the art. The gallery has a somewhat pleasant atmosphere.

After my shift, I went for a walk into town for groceries. Entering the store felt strange. All of a sudden it occurred to me that I had never been shopping for food on my own before, and I wasn’t entirely sure what to buy.

After I had gathered all the food that seemed appropriate and paid at the counter attended by a rather cheerful employee, I made my way back to the flat. At that time the majority of the local workers seemed to finish work and head home, and I found myself surrounded by a mild rush of people. It was strange to not recognize a single one of them.

It was then that I realized that I don’t know a single person here; that I cannot visit anyone in this place, and that I will never be able to return home.

It’s occurred to me that for the first time in my life, I am completely alone.


	4. Chapter 4

11/13/99

To my surprise, I’ve been missing my hometown. I’ve always been isolated from people, but it is different now. Besides my brother Gabriel, I wasn’t friends with a single person, so before I left, I never expected to miss anything. However, now that I have, it’s somehow even more isolating -and not even the aspects of home that I did enjoy, such as my brother, our family’s beautiful, old house, its garden, and the local park and library, are here to comfort me anymore.

Additionally, I didn’t anticipate money being a problem. It was a privilege I never realised I had, to not have to worry about finances.  
However, now I have to budget for food, and I can’t replace my old winter coat, despite the fact that I’ve outgrown it over the years, and I’ve gotten too tall for it now.  
It’s been getting colder here now, and I’m uncomfortable being seen leaving the flat in an old, undersized coat.


	5. Chapter 5

12/05/99

I finally got the chance to visit the local library, and I loved it.

Near the entrance, I noticed a board advertising an LGBTQI+ club that caught my eye on the way in. I’d always assumed they only existed inside fiction; my hometown had certainly never had one. The club was running at the time, so I decided to join.

The person running it, who introduced themselves as Robin, told me I had arrived about twenty minutes after it had started, and I apologized to them. They smiled at me and told me it was fine, and that they were glad to have a new member in their ranks. They gestured to the group and each of the eight or so members introduced themselves by name and preferred pronouns. I told them I was named Castiel and preferred the terms ‘he’ and ‘him’, and they welcomed me.

They mostly discussed local bavardage I could only understand on principal, but every one of them was very friendly to me.

For the first time since moving out, I felt almost as if I were at home.

I met two people in particular of whom I liked. They were called Charlie and Dean, respectively. Charlie was a pretty, exuberant redhead with an affinity for books and what she referred to as ‘nerdy pop culture,’ -a term her friend Dean enthusiastically agreed with in an affectionately mocking manner. Dean himself was an attractive, dark-haired man with beautiful green eyes and an elegantly sculpted face that I thought made him seem like a supermodel. He was amicable and funny, and the entire group seemed to have a special fondness for him. He was particularly sociable and made good-natured and generally humourous retorts at any given opportunity, none of which ever carried any kind of real weight to them. At the end of the session, Charlie and Dean invited me to join them additionally for their bi-weekly coffee gathering. I accepted.


	6. Chapter 6

12/20/99

I’ve joined Charlie and Dean every Tuesday and Thursday for coffee, and attended the LGBTQI+ club weekly.

A few weeks ago, Dean asked me out on a date, and in amongst the nervousness, I quietly managed to accept. Yesterday, he took me on a date to the local park. I hadn’t yet visited the park, and it wasn’t as beautiful as the one I frequented almost daily until I’d moved, but I enjoyed the general familiarity of the setting, and it comforted me.

As usual, he was very funny and charming. He spoke passionately of cars and his work as a mechanic, which he had wanted to do since his father had introduced him to the engine of the family car, an Impala of 1967 of which Dean affectionately named Baby. He also discussed books and movies, and his family- particularly his younger brother, Sam- and told me about his mother’s work and Sam’s aspirations to study Law. When I inquired about his father now, Dean went uncharacteristically quiet for a moment before replying that he had left when Dean was about ten years old, to marry another woman. I apologized, and he smiled sadly and told me that it was okay, and that he still had the rest of his family and that that was what mattered.

I told him then how I hadn’t gotten along with either of my parents, or any of my siblings but one. When he asked me about it, I said simply that I had moved here a few months ago to escape them, but didn’t elaborate further, unwilling to overcrowd him with information.

Despite the melancholic turn in conversation, our discussions were pleasant, and I enjoyed the time we spent together. However, the entire night I couldn’t dispel the vague fear that someone would see us and start yelling, or that a friend of my parents would recognize me and inform them. It was illogical, but whenever I tried to remind myself of this, the anxiety wouldn’t diminish.

Dean offered to walk me home, but when I considered it, I decided I didn’t want him to witness my flat, and told him that I’d walk alone. When he looked a little sad, I smiled at him, and he took that moment to give me a hug. In the moonlight, and the faint glow of the occasional streetlight dotted along the street, I watched him as he scraped his trainer against the pavement of the sidewalk. When he looked up, he asked permission to kiss me. My heart stopped beating for a moment, and I very much wished to accept, but instead I looked around us nervously into the deep blue that hung heavily down on the street, and he understood. Instead, he took my hand and smiled, then bid me goodnight, and we each turned to depart in our respective directions, and as I walked briskly through the night, I couldn’t help the slight disappointment weighing down my chest.


	7. Chapter 7

12/25/99

Dean asked me if I would join him at church for Christmas. I declined, saying that I didn’t like religion. He asked why, and I told him that my entire town had used it as an excuse to abhor me. Dean said that his church wasn’t like that, and I acquiesced.

Admittedly, it was pleasant to enter a church with rainbow ornaments on its Christmas tree. When Dean introduced me to his family as his boyfriend, I instinctively tensed. However, his parents just smiled, hugged me, wished me a merry Christmas, and welcomed me to their church, and for the first time surrounded by religion, I felt like I belonged.


End file.
